My History

I've been wanting to write a blog about my experiences for a while, but never did get around to it.
I've finally decided to sit down and sort it all out, so i'll start at the beginning, and add some blog entries from my diary.
Apologies if some entries are long, and also written in different tenses - it depends when I actually wrote them!

Tuesday, 21 September 2010

The past 3 months....

I last posted after I'd been at home for 1 week when I'd received the CHT-25 treatment.
Now it's about 14 weeks post treatment. So much time has passed, and all I've wanted is my life to be as normal as possible - which meant not writing here.

I had a scan at 4 weeks which was very positive - nodes in my neck were no longer active. Chest tumours had shrunk by half, and under arm by 2cm. All fluid in my lungs had also cleared, as had the rash on my chest. I had energy, and could actually breathe.

Since then I seem to have been on the up - doctors have been pleased with my progress. Doing their usual prodding and poking they continued to think the tumours were shrinking.
My bloods continued to drop, but the lowest they got was my neutrophils at about 1.2.
After 10 weeks of continuous weekly hospital visits they said I didn't have to go back for my last few appointments as I'd had no problems, and my bloods were on the up. They booked me in for a PET scan, and to get the results a week later.

The LEP and both Granada and BBC have all done a few more pieces, so I was famous for a short while again.

Hearing I didn't need to go back for a few weeks, and also starting to fall back into depression - like a big chasm below me - only holding onto sanity with my fingertips, I requested my PICC line to be taken out, and I booked a holiday with Mum.

Now I'm back home, and my PET scan was today. I hate those things. hate.
The bed you lie on is metal and cold. The room is freezing. The arm rest thing is metal and cold, and a conbination of havig your arms above your head, and your whole body freezing makes your shoulders feel like they are being ripped out of their sockets. The nurse counted, and in the past 18 months I've had 5 PET scans.
I'm sure I'm always going to be slightly radioactive. Just look for the 'glowing' house on google maps.

Results day is 27th September.
In 8 years I've never been nervous about scan results. This time I am.
All I want is for the treatment to have been a massive success, then I can get on with chemo and a transplant, and get my life back on track.

I want to enjoy myself. I want to travel. I want to work. I want to feel 'normal' again.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Heather,
    I was the person who put on Dogsey about you being on television :) in case you wondered who this stranger was replying on your blog! I just wanted you to know that Ive followed your story on there and also keep an eye on your blog.

    Im sure that there are so many people around the country, like me, that are wishing you well and are in awe of the courage and strength that you show. Im sure that you have been told that a lot, maybe you dont even believe people who say that, but your courage to write about what you are going through is really helpful to others who maybe going through what you are. Even though you are worried about your scan results, hopefully they will be one more step on your journey to getting your life back. Youve had your PICC line taken out and youve been on holiday, all very positive things, all forward moving in the right direction, your tumours have shrunk, your nodes are no longer active and you are that much further towards your goal.

    Ive also been through a extremely scary life changing illness and at one point I had less than a 40% chance of making it. I can totally empathise with the depression, feeling so scared that I just wanted to hide away and let things just happen. Somehow eventually the depression lifted and life started to stop revolving around tests and treatments and started to become a proper 'real' life again. Although life is never the same again (I dont think Im invincible anymore lol) you deal with the demons that leaves you with and start a brand new life. You can do this, you are on the home straight now hun, just keep going.

    Thinking of you